High up in the mountains of Fiji, it has been said that potatoes are building a powerful force, preparing to launch a global offensive. Though this information has not been fully confirmed as being true, our sources cannot be identified. When questioned, the Fiji Government has said that potatoes do not grow in Fiji.

Though this is obviously untrue, as potatoes are able to thrive in any climate (EVIL!), we shall continue to gather more evidence and scout the area for more signs of suspicious activity.

To the general public: DO NOT FEAR!

The Secret Tribe of Potato-Hunting Tapirs shall continue to uphold justice throughout the world. Rest assured, we shall endeavour to carefully investigate this matter with utmost seriousness.