That is a potato. That is evil. Evil in its purest form.Why is it evil?

Look at all the starch! Starchy death contained in a single vessel! The demonic energy that permeates every cell via osmosis and diffusion! The pure evil of polysaccharides and their inability to pass through cell surface membranes! The Eyes! The eyes from where buds spring forth to wrap their tendrils of doom around innocent victims! The doom which potatoes rain down upon the Universe! The terror of excessive carbohydrates which assault the soul-essence of every living being that moves and breathes! THE POTATO HELL WHICH ALL THE EARTH IS CONDEMNED TO! THE ETERNAL CURSE OF AN ALL-POTATO DIET WHICH WILL GREATLY DAMAGE SOCIETY, CIVILIZATION AND ALL OF POSTERITY!

WHO WILL SAVE FROM THIS ARROW THAT FLIES BY DAY AND TERROR WHICH HAUNTS THE DARKNESS OF THE NIGHT?!? WHO SHALL RESCUE US IN THE LAST HOUR FROM THE PERILOUS CLUTCHES OF THE NIGHTSHADE DEMONS WHO ETERNALLY TORMENT AND PERSECUTE US WITH THEIR SOLANINE DEEDS?


And I say to thee, THE SECRET TRIBE OF POTATO-HUNTING TAPIRS WILL SAVE US!!!




That is just an example of what an AVERAGE tapir looks like. To protect the identity of the chosen ones who have been apprenticed to the Tribe, real pictures of the Tribe in action can not be revealed.

The Tribe does not hunt for potatoes but actually hunts potatoes. From unarmed combat to modern weaponry, the Tribe shall ceaselessly fight to destroy potatoes and not just capture them.

And so, dear reader, please remember that all POTATOES are EVIL! BUT FEAR NOT, FOR THE SECRET TRIBE OF POTATO-HUNTING TAPIRS SHALL SAVE YOU!!!!